“What a man enjoys about a woman’s clothes are his fantasies of how she looks without them.”
“The man’s desire is for the woman. But the woman’s desire is for the desire of the man.”
Some time ago, Anon and Mouse came across this article. The article describes a married couple (featured on the Showtime show - Polyamory - Married & Dating) who have a marriage that is “so complicated” because he has a girlfriend and she (the wife) invited said girlfriend to move in.
We read the article. We thought, “This is complicated? Apparently they haven’t been around our friends!”
Then we saw this article on Twitter - in which the author gives all of us the benefit of his wisdom in telling us exactly the difference between swingers and those in “open” relationships and clearly defines those terms.
We read his article. And, we thought, “Whoa, it’s Way more complicated than that!”
OK - so Mike Hatcher says that an “open marriage” involves a married couple “agreeing that they can be with other people in a sexual sense outside the marriage bed”. He differentiates this from swinging which involves two couples who “swap partners for sex with it normally being in the presence of each other.”
Ok, so how many out there have a relationship that is open and/or are swingers whose personal definition does not fit that of Mr. Hatcher? Can we see a show of hands?
Wow, that’s a lot of hands.
Well, as we say on our “About Us” page, we are all about giving you our opinion here. And our opinion is, it just ain’t that easy to define these terms.
The couple in the HUffPost article (and the video embedded therein) is actually polamorous - meaning (to us) that they share an intimate, loving - as well as sexual - relationship in a structure that includes more than two people.
The HuffPost article describes this couple as having an “open marriage” and indeed they might. But an “open” relationship (being it married or not) can also include people who date outside the primary relationship or have lovers outside the primary relationship. This outside relationships might be jut sexual (as described by Hatcher) or may be more. It’s up to the couple. And they precise rules on who goes outside the marriage, for what, when and with whom can vary mightily from couple to couple. So, if you find yourself presented with someone who says they have an open marriage, it might be a good idea to ask them what they mean by that term.
And swingers - some swap, some don’t, some stay in the same room, some don’t, some never have sex with others but like to be around others having sex, some like a bunch of folks laying on the same bed in the same room at the same time, some like . .. .
Get the idea. Each of these terms has a lot of variations. So, just ask. And define your own relationship the way that you want. And have fun!